There once was a cyclist from Wigan

by

Ian Hughes

There once was a cyclist from Wigan

Who`s chainring was said to be a big`un

With 63 teeth, it was hard work for Keith

To get it spinning and into a rhythm

Now Keith was a “Tester” of some fine repute

Winning trophies wherever he rode

Only one man could match him, Long Lenny from Leigh

An unscrupulous, underhand toad

The inter club challenge had one round to go

With Keith leading Lenny by a point

Wednesday evening on the Bypass and the clock would decide

Who would go home the winner that night

Lenny was off wearing number thirty nine

And, as usual, his start was very quick

He was well out of sight as Keith waited on the line

For the clock to count down tick, tick, tick….

Finally Keith powered that big cog into life

With an effort that made his heart race

But the struggle was worth it, for after a mile

He found himself well up to pace

Crouching down on the bars, keeping up with the cars

He pedalled with all of his might

And there in the distance, in orange and blue

Keith now had Long Lenny in sight

Up by twelve seconds as he rounded the turn

Everything was going to plan

But what Keith couldn`t see, coming fast from behind

Was Lennys mate in a Ford Transit van

The collision was slight but it gave Keith a fright

And he wobbled off course, up a drive

Through flower beds of Roses, his Cyclo Cross skills

Kept him upright and glad to be alive

At the bottom of the garden, an exit could be seen

And he headed cross the lawn, through a gate

Back onto the bypass, head down, legs on fire

Keith was close to his maximum heart rate

Long Lenny had finished in a personal best

And half a minute had already passed by

When Keith rounded the corner, the finish line in sight

A silhouette on the darkening sky

Out of the saddle, sprinting hard for the line

35 mph and more

Keith sped over the line with two seconds to spare

And the spectators started to roar

Long Lenny had tried every trick in the book

But despite this he still couldn`t beat

The Tester from Wigan we all know as Keith

And his chainring with 63 teeth